We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
