Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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