Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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