good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
