Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
