I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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