It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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