You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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