True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
