glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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