the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i think i have herpe
just one?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
