I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
