I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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