Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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