I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
