you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
