I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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