Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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