Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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