I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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