if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
