He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
