If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
