i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
