Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
