i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Farmville is her only friend.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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