It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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