All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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