Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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