blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
