please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
