I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
