i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
