all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
