And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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