You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
