you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
