Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
