do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
