Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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