i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
