And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
