actually, I'm a sock model
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
