AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
