Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Randomize
