this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
