Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
