Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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