dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
