she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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